don't read this.

so hey. i don't really know how to say this to you. but here goes. why do you do the same thing to me over and over again. you play me like i'm some fool, and i'm not. you must think i'm completely stupid. well i'm not. how could you put me through the same thing over and over again. i gave up everything for you. including a really great friend of mine whom i cared very deeply for. and now he has moved on to bigger and better things, and i am left here. i made this decision on my own. but i thought i could trust you this time. i thought things would be different. you tell me you've changed, but here you are. proving me wrong like i knew you would. so why do i waste my time giving you ten second chances? why do i do this to myself. we're young. and i know we're immature but honestly. i don't know why i waste my breath and waste my time. i used to think i could never get better than you, and then i did. and i gave him up. for you. because i thought things were different. and here we are. right back where we started. you act like it doesn't matter. like i have no feelings, and like you don't care when i cry. and yes, i do cry sometimes. i want to change things i want to go back in time and change all the decisions i've made but i can't. i let them all happen and i can't change it. in all honesty, it's all my fault. isn't it? i surely know you think it is. so why even bother trying to fix things with you. i want to be done. i want to move on. but i always find myself going back to you. i dont want to. i want to be done. i don't know why i torture myself. i want to be done with you. but i never can. ever. but i'll have you know, one day, i won't be here. i'll be long gone, and i won't turn back around for you. one day you will see.