venting.

well today was just not a good day. and i need a place to just express my thoughts. so i guess that's what this blog is for... ANYWAY.

so today my alarm clock never went off, i missed the bus, i had no time to get ready or do anything to my hair, i had to catch a ride with a neighbor who i haven't spoken to months (but it's fine, it was nice), i got a C on a biology quiz, my spanish teacher was having a spanish rant today and was yelling at everyone, my phone went off twice in health and i almost got it taken away, i forgot my lunch money, and while we were practicing in chorus for our upcoming showchoir competitions, i started to notice how much tension was in the room. there are literally behind the scenes catfights going on, and not only is it immature, but it's stupid. people who were best friends at the beginning of the year are starting to turn against eachother. and as i sat to watch a group, i noticed myself getting angry. angry that some girls STILL don't know their placements and choreography though we learned all of that 5 months ago. angry because i feel as if my chorus teacher was a bit too nice while she picked some of these girls. angry that during the practices, i kept looking at myself in the mirror and getting angry at myself. not only was i being a judgemental jerk to these girls, my friends, but i couldn't even handle watching myself. what does this say? i feel like i'm the most judgemental, bipolar person and i'm a hypocrite. it's sad, but that's the way i feel. i went home and started to play with the new puppy, and he pooped on the floor RIGHT after i brought him inside. when my mom finally got home, she told me i looked like crap and yelled at me for having a purple streak in the under part of my hair. sorry dude, but it's my hair. i'm gonna do what i want with it. sorry?.. today was just a really crappy day. and i just wanted to just go upstairs, scream and go to sleep. but i went over to my mirror, planning on criticizing myself more probably, and saw the verse i'd written on my mirror about a year ago. it was, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philipians 4:6-7. and then I smiled.

also, this is on my mirror. i saw it, and felt a heck of alot better. it doesn't matter how crappy my day was, i feel like if i just chill out, and think about how much God really loves me, flaws and all, then i can just smile and be happy. and i'll try to remember this thought on all my other days. sometimes it's not easy but hey. whatevaa.